Victoria vs Toña and Nicaraguan steak

If you are in Nicaragua you will most likely drink beer. And you will have to pick one side: Victoria or Toña. You have to join one group and stay faithful. There’s no in-between.

I chose Toña and as soon as I did that, I naturally started to  diss Victoria (pronounced “bictoria”). Because that’s how things work. Due to high temperatures, I often carried a cold Toña in my hand. I would go to the supermarket and buy a Toña can, then walk along the streets sipping it from time to time, a thing I definitely could not do in New York. It felt good and refreshing – well, until a kid came up to me wanting to ask me for money. He looked at me almost disdainfully, called me “borracha” and left.

You have to try the steak in Nicaragua. It is so good, it would turn a vegan into a carnivore. Kobe? Overrated. Nica beef – holy cow! Juicy, soft, and with a flavor that has been washed out of all our industrially-produced hormonal beef. Few know that beef is one of Nicaragua’s main exports. If the Nicaraguans start massaging their cows and add some Toña to their diet, they will be the new Kobe.

In Granada, the best place to try the steak is the famed El Zaguan, right behind the Cathedral. You cannot miss it: it has a cow hind at the entrance. Upscale but with extremely reasonable prices for extranjeros, nicely decorated with that telenovela-colonial house look, great service and live entertainment (a band of mariachi) at night.

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